Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize