My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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