last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
