I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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