i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
