i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
