I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
