absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
