If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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