Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
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