Im at strip club and am horny
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
