Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
smell my finger.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize