what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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