After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
