So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
