she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
