You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
