is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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