and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
