did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize