Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
