She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
