No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
