I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
