Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
