Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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