I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
4 words: hood of his car
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize