Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
