And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Randomize
