drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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