They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
