You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
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