last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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