Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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