But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize