Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
