AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
