you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
