don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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