All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
