If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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