We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I have fence marks all over my body
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
