So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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