my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
