So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
