I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
