she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize