You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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