Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
