I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
she told me i tasted like america
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize
