i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
