He felt like a one man threesome
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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