halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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