I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
