yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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