You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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