I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
