that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
