She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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