all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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