Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Can i not drive my cunt home
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
