let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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