You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
