woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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