I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think my vagina is haunted
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
