on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
