The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
