She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
